A French secret.

Maybe it is cliché but I love France and the French language. My friends (who are 90% French) ask me if I dream in French and I say yes, I really do. French is my go to language (even though I still have much to learn) and now I find that at times, I express myself better in French than in English, my native tongue. It is my fault that I wanted to immerse myself in this culture that I rarely read or write English anymore and I am sure what I write here is riddled with grammar mistakes. I realize that one could actually lose his language in the sense that due to lack of use, he loses the flowerly “habillage” of adjectives, complicated language, when he is forced to be simple in the foreign country.

When French people asked me if I knew their language before coming to France, I say no. This is 80% true and 20% false. I came to France as a study abroad student through my University of California school system as a 5th year student. There was a 1 year French requirement to be eligible to study abroad. During my junior (3rd year) of college, I began taking my first French classes to meet this requirement.

My university years were not too easy because I had great aspirations. I was following the most difficult program offered by my university (bioengineering) and in parallel, I was taking a supplementary set of pre-medical classes for medical school and all at the same time, taking extra art/music/dance/acting classes. And then while playing for a sports team for my school, I broke my writing arm during this year.

I juggled all these things on several hours of sleep each night. It was not the best circumstance to learn a language, but I took the French classes because I had to get to France (and I knew that there I could invest all my being into the language). My core engineering and medical related classes were my priority, and the most difficult. I was already spread so thin doing the impossible by squeezing what I should be doing in 5 years into 4.

I exerted all my remaining bit of energy to pass my French classes and I used my short term memory to get by but only barely. I did not know how to speak (I really did not have the time and energy to practice). During three quarters of oral final exams, I could not express myself but I made a promise to each of my French teachers that I would dedicate myself to the language but I begged them to let me pass, so I could study abroad. And they let me pass.

Eventually, I was accepted to study abroad in Lyon and I finished my degree. I began my French studies in the fall of 2007, living with a host family. I remember not being able to understand a single word in the car as my host mother picked me up from the train station at Lyon to take me to her home. My experience in this amazing host family (with my host father wearing only one fragrance: Kenzo Pour Homme) and city is another story to tell.

I was the “worst” student in my study abroad class as the other students had taken more than the 1 year minimum of French classes and many had studied the language during their high school years (I had studied Spanish).

Being part of an international university when I was in San Diego taught me two important things:

1. Help foreigners because it is not easy.

Also I believe in a sort of “karma” now regarding this point. I have always tried to help foreigners, not knowing that one day I would be a foreigner myself, not knowing how hard it is to be a foreigner, and that I would need help one day. I am blessed to have gotten so much help in France, and I would not be here without the help of my French classmates and friends. Thank you.

2. The importance of not being with people who speak your language or you will progress slowly.

I wanted to learn the French culture and I wanted to learn the language. It is so comfortable to be with my Californian classmates and other anglophones to speak English. In Lyon, I tried to convince people to join me and reach out to the French. But I found myself alone going into bars and being outside talking to new people. I am a sociable person but it is sometimes frightening to be alone in another country, to be alone in a bar with no one to turn to, trying to meet people without knowing their language. It was humbling to experience some awkward moments due to miscommunication, to be a wallflower with this fear to approach people, and eventually to be rejected at times.

In the beginning, I fumbled French and often fell back to English but the effort of just making contact paid off. I also learned that beer (alcohol) brings different cultures together. I began making French friends and they welcomed me into their world. Additionally, I joined sport teams through my French university which allowed me to travel throughout France and Europe for competitions.

My French learning curve exploded and I found myself in one of the most beautiful cultures in the world and eventually speaking the language.

France has become my home, and I have made an effort to adapt and appreciate the culture that is so different than mine. I have found difference places for me to contribute my language, culture (Californian, American, and Asian), and talents. While in my writing, I do still write like an American (with lots of I’s and me, me, and me) and in many other situations, I do react with American tendencies, but I do understand better the French psychology. I have a great respect for the French culture that required humbling myself and stripping myself down of my own cultural references.

Unlike many other anglophones, I do not have a dedicated circle of anglophone friends to escape to in France, and this is my choice, and I am okay with that. I have always been with French people from the beginning. I will never dare to say I will ever fully understand the French culture but each day, I get closer and I am enriched by the generosity of the people around me.

I still have so much to learn…